had dinner w darlin @ bedok jux nw.. it was a nice one.. in between had many laughters. hmms. but i find tat i was a lil too mcuh here & der. i don't know why, i don't want tat too. i don't want tu b unreasonable .. hai sumtyms im too afraid tat he will leave mi, for another girl, another more good looking girl. Indeed i dont find a single tin special abt myself. therefore i really don't find a nid tu love myself . fcuk . hw can hp say tis kinda tins.. sigh . =( if i don't improve myself, be it physically, mentally or what, my bf will leave mi sumday, really.=( i want tu change, being reasonable in handling problems, studies, and rs. i want tu score for my grades. i want tu be beautiful, i want tu learn piano, i want tu learn dancing. sigh . so mani tinks = ( can miracles happen sumday ....


got tis stupid dream tat mks mi sweat lyke shit . everytink happens mainly due to tat ive quarrels wif him b4 i went tu bed. so perhaps i was tinking of it thru out de nyte and ... ya. i dreamt tat him, leaving mi for another person. another bitch i shud say. i can't rememb her face clearly & if i do, i won't let her off, really. even if she happens to b my buddy, sister, whatever. i don't giffa shit when i come to rs. everytink seems so real in de dream. im realli afraid tu lose him.. i don't know why too tat charlotte happens to b in my dreams. she seems to b having another affair wif him. see, how flirt is he when cums to rs in da fug dreams. i cant imagine tat charl did tat to mie . it was painful... so pls god, dont let any of my buddy,sis,gdfrn or wad, to flirt my guy. if not i wont b kind. don't ever betray mi my dear frens . u'll nvr wana c dis unkind hp .. i woke @ 8+ n found tat my eyes r swallon. perhaps i realli cried. so i did some tings to my eyes & went back to zz.. n da dream continues. FUCK right ? okie forget it. tis better not be reality , if not i'll b dead .